Late in Translation

Jenny keyed me in to an interesting point about Morrocans.

If you are late, they dont blame you. They will never hold it aginst you. To them, it is controlled by the spirits and you had no control. Something took longer than you thought or something went wrong. It is not your fault like it is in the United States.

And that is a perfect intro to yeterdays grooms dinner.

For a person like me, being late to something is up there on the embarrasing scale with mixing up whether someone is a male or female or if someone is pregnant or not. However, in Morocco, being late is rather a matter of fact.

After the cyber cafe yesterday, I was 15 min late for meeting Rachid for the shave, haircut, and a hamam (sauna). I didnt think it was a big deal (I tend to adapt to other cultures) but when I showed up he was ready to go.

We walked to the barber and of course he was nowhere to be found. We looked and rung his bell tohis apartment. We asked the carpenters next door and finally he emerged from the store down the block where he had been having a snack and some tea.

He set out giving me a haircut and he was really excited to have some hair that was not in the classic Moroccan style of short or shorter. He went after my hair with such aplomb and tenacity that it was great fun to watch. It completely made up for the fact that the scissors where last sharpend in the 1990s. Every once and a while, instead of cutting, the scissors would rip the hair directly out of the follicle.

Then we switched chairs and it was time for the shave. For this he used a straight razor with a new blade that he doused in rubbing alcohol and then burned. Perfectly safe! he told me. The shave went well and I had had them before but I dont remember how uncomfortable it is with someone rubbing the underside of your chin and hearing the scraping through your skull. He also had some issues with the upper lip. The hairs were more tugged out than cut and when he saw me flintch he assured me I am a specialist! Which is NOT what you want to hear from your barber.

So anyway everyone at the wedding said I looked about 10 years younger. I just thought I looked less like a criminal on a deserted island who had recently fallen on hard times ( the criminal, not the island).

During this haircut Rachid had to run to the school to get paid for some summer school courses and along the way he got asked to help move some carpets up to the third floor of his house. Thus is the average errand trip in Morocco as I was about to learn first hand.

While Rachid got his shave, I sat outside and watched what would be the equivalent of somebody wrecking their dads station wagon. A teen was showing off for some friends and he pulled up onto the curb in a two wheeled cart pulled by a donkey. As he left, the wheel came off the curb and bent off. He tried to repair it and the wheel fell off after a few revolutions. Then he lifted the edge of his cart and wheeled the wheel along as the donkey cointinued to pull it.

We then set off to the Hamam but I should have realized that it involved a stop at home which turned into a hour long wait as things were wheeled in and the hamam materials were gathered and scrutinized.

At this point I was worried that I was going to make us late to his own grooms dinner. He kept telling me it was not a big deal.

We then went to a hamam. I realiwe that Moroccans like hamams for the sale reasont that the finns like jumping in a cold lake in the winter. People in extreme weather love to do activities that exacerbate the temperature.

You go in, sit in a sauna in your shorts, and then a guy comes out and:

Soaps you up

Loofahs you

Soaps you again ( which burns like the dickens)

Washes your hair

Rinses you off with hot water

This is all done in an all tile warm humid room. It is great for getting rid of dead skin, which I seemed to have in tonnes. The tile floor looked speckeled when I was done.

Of course, when I was done, I got out and sweated all over the place anyway.

So we were all done getting ready and the party is about to start right?

Oh no. What a stupid thought on my part. Rachid and Rita suddenly got ready

And we were off in a car with some guy?

Yep, we had to take the clothes in to get decorated. We dropped them off after a terrifying car ride into the heart of Marrakech and took a more terrifying ride out of there (the police only whistled at us once)

So we are back and now the party will get started.

After a hour long time while we lounge around downstairs talking about nothing. At this point, I was convinced that I had ruined the party and Rachid was too polite to tell me. After all, it was supposed to start about 2 hrs prior.

Rachid told me to go up and I came up onto the roof where it had been transformed into a sweet outdoor eatery. There were waiters and carpets, table clothes and crystal, and about 65 men all who I could feel looking at me as I walked in. I sat with the driver at an undecorated table and waited for the man of the hour to jaunt in.

Finally, it was here. He walked in to the thunderous sounds of .............. nothing. They couldnt have cared less. Most of them stared at him the same way they did at me. We were moved to a table with about six other men and I asked Rachid about the lack of excitement concerning him. He looked at me like I was crazy.

I dont know any of the men at this table and they do not know me. They are all the fathers friends and they are invited out of respect to them. I am an afterthought.

And so it went. We ate saffron chicken with our bare hands until I thought I would burst. Then they brought out beef! Then it was fresh fruits for dessert.

If the world was dominated by those who could eat the most, we would all be speaking Arabic.

The amazing thing at this party was that AS SOON as people were done eating, they left. There was NO idle chit chat. They just said thanks and got out! It totally blew my mind but I got another look when I brought it up to Rachid.

Then the family came up and all the women ate at a seperate table while the cooks set out their beds on the roof. They had been cooking since the morning and they were about to start again for the next day.

I stayed the night and had a bear of a time getting a cab back to the hotel while Jenny relaxed in the air conditioned room.

I also saw a cockroach the size of my finger crawl out within inches of my finger. But that is another post and it is hot in this cyber and tonight is the real wedding where Rachid says

Tonight, I am the big deal.

It it is sup

posed to start at 1030 with a parade of gifts for the bride. We are buying them an oven for 30 bucks.

Who knows what time it will really start.